I watch you, my heart filling and aching as I remember those breaking, beautiful days.
Long hours all joined together into never-ending weeks, as the clock ticks into time-taking that you never learned – numbers that don’t add up no matter how hard you try. Wondering when the moments will feel like yours again. Realizing they never truly will as you juggle the sweet little lives that right now need every part of you. Overwhelmed by the wildest, deepest love you have ever felt as you look down into the darling eyes that reflect yours.
Love so big, you couldn’t put it into words if you tried.
Sometimes the tears come when you don’t even know why, and I want to cry too. It’s not easy – the literal tearing apart of body and heart that takes time to mend. The wounds gently heal as you reluctantly start to move ahead, imperfectly embracing all that is now.
Loving what is, missing what was.
It’s really the theme of life; it never changes because we are always moving ahead.
You can’t go back now.
My hollow cliché words sometimes don’t feel like enough, so I hug you and hold you tight. “You’ve got this,” I whisper. Because I know you do, and you make me so proud. You love so deep. You are filled with beauty, strength and faith. I see the joy that spills through your life, the laughter that bubbles up at just the right time, and I know one day you will want every moment back.
You will close your eyes and dream of these long days. It’s the worst thing for me to say in the thick of it all, but the truest of truths. I know this because I close my eyes and look back, and I still see you.
And I would do anything to live just one of those exhausting days again.
You have all that you need, my dearest girl—love all around, on every side. And they have all they need too; you are more than enough.
You are everything to them, to him, to us. And these days, are the best and hardest.
All joined together in a glorious mess.
Your beautiful mess.
You’ve got this.