Maybe it wasn’t a good idea for a melancholy mom to walk through the old elementary schoolyard tonight. I looked back, and my heart went into my throat as the sunlight gently shone through that old kiss-and-drive lane.
A clever name, really. Drive down the lane in the morning, give your kids a quick kiss goodbye as they get out of the car, and keep on going.
Kiss-and-drive.
Such an efficient idea, and now looking back I wonder if the school knew just how hard it was to say goodbye.
Because 20 years later, I’m still doing that kiss-and-drive.
3 weeks ago as we left our sweet boy and his Kansas family on their front steps. Running back one more time, for one more hug and kiss before our 18-hour drive.
Kiss-and-drive.
Then, as recently as today, as my sweet girl popped by my work on her way out of town, her sweet expectant belly in tow. Hospital bag in the backseat, just in case. I kissed her sweet face, said a little prayer and watched her go down the street.
The lanes have changed but the feelings are the same.
And as I walked down that driveway tonight with tears in my eyes, I thought maybe the plan wasn’t just for efficient morning routines, but perhaps that clever school was preparing us for a lifetime of kiss-and-drive moments.
Because like it or not, we’re always saying goodbye.
And while I love this season of life, as the August days get a little shorter and shiny backpacks, lunch-bags and fresh markers line the stores, I sure would love to go back for just one more drive down that lane.
My sweet kids bopping in the backseat, chatting and excited for the day as we pull up to the opening in the fence. The multiple I love you’s and side hugs, with little arms around my neck and kisses on the cheek.
I never really loved leaving them and driving away. I’d always be looking back over my shoulder to make sure they were ok, one last wave as they faded from my sight.
Never really wanting to say goodbye.
Then, or now.
Every time they go away.
So we keep holding tight, a lifetime of those kiss-and-drives forever.