I have a big birthday coming up this year. I won’t tell you the number, because there is no way you would EVER think that I could possible be THAT OLD.
But here we are.
I used to bristle a little on the inside when I thought about the impending arrival of this year’s birthday. But suddenly I feel very aware, especially right now in life – of what a privilege it is to grow older. To be here. To be healthy, and to walk in this current season of life. There are hard things, but there is also so much joy.
So, I’m looking ahead with gratefullness.
But there’s still this part of me, that doesn’t quite think I’m where I should be. I mean, have I reached the peak of my life? Is it just downhill from here? After a year of living in the crazy Covid world, spending 7 months in isolation, putting plans on hold, walking through extremely difficult and painful circumstances, seeing dreams end and eating way too many lockdown treats – I look at myself every day in the mirror – and I’m really hoping I’m not past my prime.
I mean, there has to be more ahead right? (inserts nervous laugh)
Have I become all that I’m going to be? (starts eating healthy and buys thick concealer)
It’s a bit of an unusual word. It really means any process of change. But what happens after you change?
Do you suddenly become?
Do you arrive?
Are you ever done?
Maybe no one becomes, and, maybe we all just keep on becoming. Growing from one thing to the next. Good and bad, happy and sad, exciting and solemn. All parts of life lived. And just when you think maybe you’ve arrived, you realize that there’s still so much more to your story. New paths to take, and ways to grow that you never imagined.
Who wants to become anyway?
Arrival is over-rated.
Stopping is boring.
Maybe becoming means your life always flows and goes, and twists and turns, in the glorious mess of who you are meant to be. And, along the way you keep learning all the beautiful ways you’ve been created by your maker, so that you can pour out to others in your journey.
You never arrive, you just grow.
Big birthdays or not,
don’t ever stop becoming.