A long time ago, there was a young teenager. Likely scared, in a really hard situation. Without many options. She made a choice. She couldn’t keep me, so she did what she knew was best. I’ve never seen her, I’ve never uttered her name. She could walk by me on the street and I wouldn’t even know who she was.
She is a stranger.
She was my mom.
She gave me life through a labour of love that was mixed with pain and heartache.
Hurt running deep.
I wouldn’t be here without her and my heart breaks sometimes when I think about her.
But God redeems pain.
Then, there’s another mom.
She came and took my little broken-up life and wrapped it up in pink cozy blankets surrounded by cuddles and kisses. She surrounded me with love so tight and has whispered throughout my life that everything is going to be alright.
She didn’t give me life, but she is my life.
She IS my mom.
I don’t write about her much because some emotions run so deep that when you bring them to the surface they erupt in tears that you can’t contain, with a love that you can’t explain. If I imagine a different path that might not have had her in it, I can’t imagine where I would be. I know beyond any struggles and questions I have had that she is the mom that I was meant to have.
I may have been given to her.
But she definitely was given to me.
If you know her, you know that she is kind. It flows from her heart like a river. If you know her, you know that she’d do anything for anyone she loves. And she loves deep. My whole life my friends have said, “Your mom is beautiful,” and I beam with pride because she is beautiful. The most beautiful mom ever, inside and out.
I have faith because of her example.
I serve because I saw her serve.
I forgive because she is forgiving.
I work hard because I saw her work hard.
I love others because she loves with no end.
I want to be like her in every way.
The best mom in the world.
In this present season, my mom is getting harder to find.
I hug her, I sit close. I hold her hand tight.
I want her to know I’m here, and that I know she’s there.
I look straight into her eyes as far as I can, imagining that she can see how I feel deep into her heart.
“I love you,” I say.
“You and me,” she replies.
“Always,” is my answer.
“You’re so good,” she tells us all, whenever she sees us.
Those words are ALL the words of our life wrapped into a little phrase. All the things that can’t be said, but we know what they mean.
We are good.
Because of the goodness of you.
I love you my sweet mom. You are one of the greatest gifts in my life. Thank you for never letting go of me. Thank you for always cheering me on and believing in me. Thank you for praying for me when I didn’t think I could get through the day. Thanks for loving your family in a way that makes me want to love mine. For being the mom to me, that I’ve tried to be to my own children.
There is no one like you.
You love has been a constant flow throughout my life.
It rescued me.
Filling the deep places that no one could reach.
Now it’s my turn.
I’ll love you forever.
I’m beside you no matter what is ahead.
You ARE my mom.
You are good.
So touching and heartwarming! Moms are treasures. Thank you for sharing!
I can hardly utter a word… through the tears. BEAUTIFUL.
Thanks Ruth xo
Beautiful words for a difficult time filled with love and pain, gratitude and loss. I recognize your words and sentiments as ones I felt but didn’t articulate in the years when my mom was here, but gradually being taken from us. The love you are giving – no matter what – will sustain her now, and you later. She’s right, you are good. What a legacy. ❤️
Thanks Sharon xoxo
So well said, yet again Shelly. You may never know your birth-mother, but you can know that she was part of God’s plan, she cared enough to choose life for you. The world is a better place because she did. Through the model of your Mom’s example, you have become a treasure to those whose lives you share. Our girls are blessed to have had you as a role model and leader, especially since they are adopted. I am blessed to have had you as a boss(BG club, lol) and my wife is blessed to consider you a friend.
As your Mom is good, so too are you Shelly!
Thanks so much Kevin!
Shelly, as someone who’s known you both for a long time and loves you both very much, all i can say is I love you both and thank God very much that i know you❤
You know the most beautiful part Shelly? She chose YOU! Most of us didn’t have that, our moms got what they got, you were chosen! How beautiful! I read your words and I’m so understanding this season you’re in. I’m there too, there is often a blank stare where there was recognition and love. I’m not her daughter anymore, I’m apparently her sister. 🙂 Our moms are still in there, they still have those beautiful warm giving hearts, yes, they are harder to find every day but the memories we have nothing can ever take away. I miss my mom in so many ways. But I’m thankful for every minute I still have with her. Cherish it all! Much love Cousin, you have a beautiful spirit, just like your mom!
Make me cry! xoxox Love you
Oh my Shelly. So beautifully written and so heartfelt… you are infused with the sweetness of your mom.
Oh my Shelly… so beautifully said… so heartfelt and full of truth. You are infused with the sweetness of your mom.
Thank you Wendy! xo
So well written Shelly. You are so right she was and is beautiful. From the moment I met her she welcomed me as one of the family. I love her dearly.
You, my darling girl are beyond blessed to have her as your mom. I see so much of her in you. Continue to let her legacy shine through you.
Thanks Lori! xoxo
Shelly, you are out of this world special just as she is. You have me crying here but they are good tears. Love you both so much. Aunt Venie
Love you so much!
The love ? you have with your mom and for each other is a FOREVER LOVE! God put you 2 together for a great purpose ??!
Yes! Thanks for your kindness this past week to my parents xo
Thank you Lori!
God gave you the mom you needed.
Indeed He did!