I am not patient.
I’m patient with people. (Most of the time. Usually)
I’m patient with my family. (Pretty much most of the time. Almost)
I’m patient in long lines at the store. (Almost most of the time. Sorta)
But I have no patience when it comes to myself lately. And time and again, I keep telling myself that there is a right time for everything. Yet still, I am restless as I wait. My hopes. My dreams. His plans for my life. I want them now. I can’t stand the wait anymore.
And I am driving myself crazy.
Do you ever feel like that? I’m starting to wonder what is wrong with me. Maybe it’s because we live in such an instant society. If the internet is just a little slow – we flip out. If the car in front of us at the drive thru doesn’t move – we lay on the horn. We are all staring at our phones, all the time. Capturing each moment in the instant and sharing it with the world in the next instant. We don’t know how to wait anymore. We are a society of NOW. And I feel that pressure all around me. I give in to that pressure every day.
Maybe that is why I have no patience. The world around me spins so fast that I just can’t catch up. Maybe my lack of ability to wait is because of the speed of our culture. The urgency in which I feel things need to happen has been imposed upon me.
Slow down world.
I’m trying to keep up.
You are making me feel inadequate.
Maybe I am more patient than I think. Maybe I just need to step back and take the self-imposed pressure off myself. I would be happier I think. I’ll still dream huge and big dreams. But maybe if they don’t happen tomorrow, I’ll be ok with that. Maybe I will stop comparing myself with others and their journey and I will just focus on living the best story of my own life. That sounds way more healthy. That sounds like something I can work towards and accomplish.
Maybe in the meantime I can still enjoy the journey without feeling the need to race to the finish line. I hate racing. I’m more of a “slow and steady pace” type of girl. Doesn’t that win the race?
I feel better already.
I’ll slow my world down myself.
I’ll walk my own pace.
And I’ll still finish my race.
And it will be ok.
It might even be great.