If I’m really honest, there are many things about life that I don’t understand. I’ve seen people I love struggle and suffer, I’ve watched families go through unspeakable pain, and had a front row seat to tragedy and heart-breaking loss.

If you were to ask me why God let these things happen, I wouldn’t have an answer.

I have a life-long faith that has guided all my steps, yet there are many things I haven’t been able to reconcile.

I’ve questioned God.

I’ve been a little angry sometimes.

I’ve definitely asked why. 

In those times of searching for answers that I haven’t always found, there has been one constant.

One thing to hold onto.

One thing that I can’t let go.

My hope is in Jesus.

I’ve whispered those words to myself when there’s been nothing else to say, no other way to process or understand.

It sounds simple. I know that to the cynic, it could even seem naive – but there have been times when those 5 words have literally saved my life.

My hope is in Jesus. 

This is Holy Week, the week where we focus on the final days of Jesus.

It’s usually a somber reflection for me, the days leading up to Good Friday. Thinking about the journey of pain and suffering. I think about it even more this year, in our current context and reality. I see a world on pause, with much fear and uncertainty about the future. Terrifying projections floating around, as we live a new way of life that feels like something from a bad movie.

I’ll be honest – I’ve felt scared.

I don’t know what the days ahead will be like for our family, my children are wondering about their futures, and there’s many people I love – who I pray are safe. It feels like the world is collectively holding its breath, and I long for normal life to fill my lungs.

A somber reflection indeed.

This is also the week that reminds me of all I hold dear. Pain leading to redemption. Light in the darkness. Sorrow into rejoicing. And despite how different the world is, despite how different my life is right now, in the middle of what feels like loss and in the face of an uncertain future – there is still peace deep down in my heart.

My hope is in Jesus.

It’s all I can say right now, but it’s enough. He’s never let me down before, and I don’t expect Him to start now.

This year is a different journey towards the cross. I’m glad I know how the story ends, or it might be too much to bear.

I know there is hope.

I know there is life.

I know this is not the end of the story.

I know, despite everything around me, that it’s all part of God’s plan.

Every though I don’t understand it all,

I won’t fear.

I won’t be discouraged.

I have this hope. It’s an anchor to the soul. It’s sure and steadfast. It’s made a way for us, from ritual to relationship. I may drift sometimes, but the anchor will only let me go so far. When it looks like I’m about to be lost, there’s a tension, there’s a pull and I’m held. I come back in. I hold on with all my might.

It’s going to be ok.

We’ll make it through.

Our hope is in Jesus.