It feels like the little sting you get pulling a big prickly weed out of the garden with cheap dollar store gloves.

Other times it comes as a deep down pang. Your heart dropping 3 stories in a free fall that lands somewhere in your gut.

It’s buried deep.

It rises fast.

The seed of rejection.

Trying to take you down.

Sorry, your project isn’t what we are looking for.

We’ve decided you’re not qualified for the job.

I don’t care about you any more.

We chose someone else. 

There’s no place for you here.

I guess you didn’t get invited.

Rejection.

Smack-dap slapping us in the face, with all our insecurities and self-doubt.

Rejection has been following me around all my life. Waiting and watching for the chance to grow and take all the good things out of my life. It knows my weak places, it knows where I am insecure and what makes my heart hurt. I’m conscious of its attempts on my life and if I’m not careful, it goes after who I am.

Stealth Attacker.

Trying to paralyze me with lies.

You’re not good enough. Your dreams are ridiculous.

You are unlovable. You have no value.

Almost every week, I come face to face with some type of rejection. Don’t we all? It appears in varying sizes and shapes, different circumstances and situations.

A couple months ago, I was pursuing something I really wanted, a next step I thought was perfect for me. My mind had it all figured out and I was making plans for what I was 99% sure was going to happen next.

Then 1% called and gave me the news I wasn’t expecting.

I’ve been beating back against rejection my whole life. But this time I fell hard. Really hard. I called in sick to work, I physically felt so heavy that I couldn’t get up. I ate lots of cookies in my bed. I binged a whole series on Netflix in one day and it took everything in me to even speak to my family and function as a human. It was almost a week before I came to terms with everything and was able to get over how I felt.

Sometimes rejection hits hard.

After, I was left feeling pretty ashamed. I should have known better but in all my pain, I forgot all about the one who I trust with my life. Who loves me the most, more than any rejection could ever erase.

I belong to my Beloved.

He is mine.

He has a banner over me that is love.

Not a little flag, or a small sign that whispers quietly.

A BANNER.

Of LOVE. 

It shouts and sways and declares over my life.

Greater than any seed of rejection trying to take root. 

So I made a decision.

When rejection slaps me in the face, I’m not going to sit in the pain. 

When the seeds try to grow, I won’t let them take root. 

It doesn’t have to win.

When rejection tries to take you down, look to the places where you are most accepted. Those are your havens. When you doubt who you have been created to be, know there is a plan and purpose for your life that is greater than any hurt down deep. When you heart is broken and crushed into a million little pieces, have hope. Don’t let any weed seeds grow, no matter how hard as they try to take root.

Make a choice

Yank them out.

You’ll get through the prickles.

Work through the pangs.

Raise your head high. 

Look up to the banner.

Waving over you.

Shouting.

Love.